“Fried Green tomatoes…”

I think this article is worthy of it’s own post on my blog. of couse documentation and giving credit where credit is due…is due… Please forgive me. I am unable to find information as of yet. Good read, nontheless.. copied as is directly from website: http://friedgreentomatoes.org/home.php



Online Resource for Victims of Psychopaths and Narcissists


Women Who Love Psychopaths: Sandra L. Brown, MA and Dr. Liane Leedom, MD, authors in the field of psychopathy are writing a book on women who love psychopaths and are seeking women willing to anonymously tell their stories, answer a survey of questions about the relationship dynamics, and be willing to take a temperament assessment.

If you have been in a relationship (preferably with a diagnosed anti-social, sociopath, psychopath or one with psychopathic tendencies) please contact us at: HowToSpot(at)yahoo.com. Materials will be sent to you. Thank you.


If you have experienced an encounter with a psychopath or narcissist, a socialized or “compensated” psychopath or a violent sociopath, you have come to the right place.

You probably feel like you have been through an emotional meat-grinder, like your soul is just raw and bleeding hamburger. (This is not said in humor since one victim described how she felt exactly that way!)

You met someone who was charming, talented and eloquent who most likely made you feel like a million bucks. And then, suddenly, at some point (usually beginning at the first moment you disagreed with him or her), you were made to feel like week-old garbage.

Hoping to restore the purity of that paradise you thought you were living in, you try everything you can think of to make it work, including closing your eyes and mind to the often vicious behavior of that person who is no longer the person you knew. You just want the original person back; you believe that he or she is there, buried inside, behind some wall of hurt that only you can heal. You may even see this original person from time to time, when you’ve had just enough to push you away for good – for just long enough to get you to stay and try again.

Little by little, you have to admit to yourself that what you are experiencing cannot be explained away by someone who is acting out of hurt; that what you are experiencing is just pure evil.

Charming, seductive and eloquent they are, and they use all those abilities when lying, manipulating and betraying. Psychopaths and narcissists can slash a path of human misery through lives of dozens, or hundreds, and even thousands, of people. They bring pain and suffering to nearly everyone they touch. And yet, somehow, they manage to convince their victims that it is they who are being wronged.

There is a reason for that: they actually do feel that they are victims because somewhere inside, they know that they are not like the majority of the human population, and this knowledge is coupled with a fundamental need to be in control, to be in charge. That they – a minority – cannot be in charge of the majority appears to them as a great injustice, one that they will fight to the death to right!

What you – a normal person – need now more than anything else is knowledge of what you are going through, or have been through, and an understanding of exactly what you are dealing with, in order to make sense of it all.

Psychopathy and narcissism are just two of several related and often overlapping conditions that afflict a portion of the population. These people are, effectively, human beings that are intraspecies predators; they look human, but they operate on a foundation that is more akin to that of an animal than a human.

Since all creatures seek survival, these pseudo-humans learn very early what behaviors get them what they want and need, including pretense to normal human emotions and empathy. Many of them can maintain this pretense – this “Mask of Sanity” – for a very long time; others let the mask slip sooner, or more often.

What they want varies by individual, but the most persistent need seems to be control and those things that give them control. For the brighter members of this taxon (for that is what it surely is), that means power and money; for the lazier and less driven members, it can mean other things: control over a spouse, children, a family, or the maintenance of a parasitic lifestyle at your expense. In extreme cases, this urge for control can be expressed in murder.

Can they be cured?

That depends; is the individual really a psychopath – which is genetic and incurable – or are they simply emulating behaviors of society and/or their upbringing? Is their behavior inherent to their nature, or is it reactive to what they have experienced? And if it is reactive, at what age did they have the experiences to which they formed reactions?

These questions must be asked, not to provide false hope that the person in your life can change, but to get a deeper understanding of what is really going on in your particular situation. It should never be forgotten that what really matters is who this person is now – not who they might become with proper treatment.

This website will provide you with information and links. We will collect articles that best reflect the history and the state of the art knowledge of the subject, as well as present some original research that we hope will shed light on some issues that have hitherto remained in darkness.

This website is the creation of a group of survivors several of whom also happen to be professionals in the medical and psychological fields, but we intend to remain anonymous. Most of us are women, which is why we have chosen the themes of Fried Green Tomatoes and Steel Magnolias to represent our work together. If you haven’t seen these two movies, try to watch them because they express the solidarity and empathy we all feel for each other and for others who have been similarly abused. This website is not about us, though, but about you.

Are you a survivor of an encounter or relationship with a psychopath or a narcissist? Are you still caught in the thrall, engaged in the life or death struggle?

There is a way out.

We hope to be able to share with you some of the secrets of escape and healing, of becoming free of those characteristics that make normal humans prime victims of the psychological deviants that lurk in our society; monsters among us. Once you know who and what they are, what their strengths and weaknesses are, the techniques they use to paralyze you and drain you, once you know that you are not crazy and most of all, not alone, you can then begin the process of living again. The best revenge is a life well and fully lived!

It all begins with knowledge; you can know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free.




The Acid Bath Killer
Former Powell aide says Bush, Cheney guilty of ‘high crimes’
Suppressing critics of Israel: The campaign against Norman Finkelstein
Parting Shot: Blair Jails Two to Shield “Madman” Bush
No Conscience = No Shame
How psychopaths party! Sony’s depraved promotion stunt creates uproar
Psychopathic Morals And The Fantasmagorical War On Terror
Into the mind of the psychopath: Girls ‘just felt right’ murdering friend
Psychopathy in Action: A Grisly Problem, “Grateful” Dead Iraqis and a Grim Outlook
Psychopath Training! Women laughed as they forced toddlers to take part in ‘dog fight’
Psychopathic Georgia Dad Gets 5 Years for Poisoning Soup
Psychopathic New Zealand-raised man jailed for torturing son
Kurt Vonnegut on Psychopaths and the Pathocracy (Interview)
Psychopath in Action: Cheney Reasserts al-Qaida-Saddam Link Fabrication
Hallelujah! Gay Priest Says God Sounds Like a Psychopath and Cruci-fiction is Insane
Faced With Facts, Psychopath McCain Denies His Own Straight Talk
Psychopath: Mich. Mom Caught in Sex Sting – Offered 7 yr old daughter for sex
Another psychopath: Soldier pleads to role in rape, murders
Young Psychopaths: Teenagers committed 37 murders in Khabarovsk Territory last year
British research suggests 50% of business managers could be psychopaths
Psychopath Alan Dershowitz Bares Fangs on Finkelstein
Psychopathy Exposed: a literary liar and her phoney love
Psychopathic Pastor Steals from Church Then Tries to Cash in with Book
Surviving the office psychopath
Hannibal Lecter: An oddly appealing psychopath
Long-Dead Psychopath a Tourist Attraction
Psychopath Alan Dershowitz seeks to grill Jimmy Carter on Israel book
The Psychopath’s Truth
Psychopaths’ brains ‘different’
Johnathan murderer a psychopathic volcano, sentencing hearing told
‘Borderline psychopath’ joins brother on long-term offender list
A Lesson In Essential Psychopathy
Study in Psychopathy: Detectives ‘spent decades as killers for the Mafia’, court is told
Abortion, Psychopaths and Mother Love
Madonna the Narcissist
Police: Man Killed Boy For Walking Across Yard
Ohio Priest to Be Tried for Nun’s Slaying
Psychopath Ira Einhorn has a blog, through friend
Two Psychopathic Old Ladies – Killers
Scandal Rocks Human Tissue Industry
Animal Cruelty in Britain on the Rise
Police Say Serial Forger Scammed $250,000
Police: Couple Offered Hit Man $100 To Kill Grandkids
Doctor testifies Stephen Stanko is psychopath
Is Your Boss a Psychopath?
Police: Teen given to older man for sex
Murderer to families: ‘Get over it’
Ritter’s one-man show is over. Prison awaits
Boy, 17, charged with 11 rapes in Montreal
Inside The Minds Of Psychopaths
Psychos Need a Little Sympathy
Motive still a question in Peterson case
Scott Peterson’s sister speaks out
The Depressive and the PsychopathAt last we know why the Columbine killers did it.
Ten Ways To Tell If Someone Is Lying To You
Liars ‘too self aware to twitch’
Rehab sought for psychopath
Criminal psychopathy a biological dysfunction
Lethal allure of ‘ghost riding the whip’ craze
Facing jail, ‘dying millionairess’ who cheated her lovers out of £100,000
Psychopaths hard to nab
Psychopaths Among Us
Beware the sociopath – No heart, no conscience, no remorse
Snakes in Suits – when psychopaths go to work!
Kurt Vonnegut vs. the !&#*!@
Psychopath Cheney urges exception to torture ban for CIA
Psychologist adds scientific insight to loaded label of ‘psychopath’
Inside the Psychopath
Scientists search for the seat of evil
Psychopath’s Find Faces a Mystery
Functional Families, Dysfunctional Brains
Seeing Evil
USC Study Finds Faulty Wiring In Psychopaths
Ten minute test could spot killers
What is narcissistic personality disorder?
Brain Differences In Adolescents, Psychopaths
Mind of a Murderer
Second Thoughts About ‘Bring ’em On’
Bush Says He Can’t Think of Any Mistakes
Prominent DC Shrink Diagnoses Bush to be a Paranoid, Sadistic Meglomaniac
Bush’s POW Porn
Bush isn’t a moron, he’s a cunning sociopath
Beyond Therapy: Some Evil Can’t Be Cured
Bush is an Idiot . . . Right?
Bush’s “Christian” Blood Cult: Concerns Raised by the Vatican
The Madness of George W. Bush
Predators, Psychology Today
Psychopathic C.E.O.s, NY Times
Death, Be Not Proud – George W. Bush The Executioner


More links..

I’m in the “gotta understand” phase. From what I have watched, read, and heard…this is a natural progression, and normal to seek understanding. I’m glad. there’s not enough time in a day to learn EVERYTHING, but I’m making great gains. I will be trying to find some psychology books, and perhaps take a few classes. I want to know every detail, and every similarity between narcissism/psychopathy and All of the associated isms.

When you visit this  page, be sure to check the ‘blogroll’ on a regular basis. I add new links regularly, which I think are helpful. I am looking for support information too. If you would like information for your city or state, let me know and I will do my best to find the information. I will post that info as well. Media or blogroll links.

I hope youre having a great evening.


Sam Vaknin

Sam was the subject of a documentary, some years ago, in which he as a self proclamed psychopath/narcissist and an ‘inigma” in doing so, allowed himself to be taped and interviewed. Sam also has several educational videos on youtube.com, which are a great source for understanding the narcissist/psychopath. I am including one here that, surprisingly to me, I could identify with. It’s amazing to me when someone describes what I have been through to a “t”, because it’s still so hard for me to completely grasp. Perhaps you can relate to this, by recognizing which types of abuse you have experienced and survived. I suppose the entire reason I’m continuing to research this, is “Knowlege is Power”…and I need all I can get right now, to regain some semblance of normalicy. Sometimes I wonder if I will be stuck forever in this new life of mine. Unsure of myself, constantly looking over my shoulder now, and never completely feeling secure or safe ANYWHERE. This particular video is 12 minutes long. Again feel free to comment. Lets discuss what you have been through. Believe me, we will find strength together in our numbers…

The beginning of my hell…it began with second-guessing

I won’t give dates, days, times or years so as to maintain my anonymity. (side note: anyone who posts to this blog…please don’t use any identifiable information about yourselves when posting here. We are all friends, but the stalkers/psychopaths/psychological abusers we have had, may also be reading this blog. Above all I want EVERYONE to be SAFE!)

I met “him” at work. I remember the first few “red-flags” that made my nervous system scream… He asked about a boyfriend I had before him, who was still trying to win me back. “he” asked me daily if I had heard from my previous bf. I was honest, believing his questioning was out of concern. Then out of no-where, he jumped down my throat saying he didn’t want to hear about my x texting me, stopping by, etc and that I had serious relationship issues. This onslaught came out of no-where, within a couple of weeks of seeing each other. I was shocked. I responded correctly, and ended my response with “I’m busy on [our predetermined date night] Wednesday”. “he” immediately changed his tone and apologized. I decided to give him another chance.

They say hind sight is the greatest teacher. Now, looking back, I can see how he was able to find my biggest weakness and throughout our relationship, exploited that weakness. He discovered that all he had to do is lower his tone, change his approach, and instantly act like he was fine. I would feel guilty about trying to break up with him. He used this particular tactic over and over, for over a year.

That is also how he broke me down, belittled me, and whittled away my confidence and self-esteem. He was trying to mold me to be receptive to another way of thinking. Keeping me off-balance. He later tried to do the finishing steps of brainwashing. If you look back and can relate, please feel free to comment…

I found this radio program about psychopaths, and I think it’s something worth listening to. I apologize ahead of time about the adds, etc. http://www.americanfreedomradio.com/archive/Truther-Girls-32k-040711.mp3



Not as We…

These are the lyrics to Alanis Morissette’s song… Lord knows I know how THIS feels! It’s a daily struggle for me, still. Feigning strength…nothing making sense. (Though things are coming together in more of an understandable fashion, once I started learning about the beast.)

Reborn and shivering
Spat out on new terrain

Unsure unconvincing
This faint and shaky hour

Day one day one start over again
Step one step one
I’m barely making sense for now
I’m faking it til I’m pseudo making it
From scratch begin again but this time I as i
And not as we

Gun shy and quivering
Timid without a hand

Feign brave with steel intent
little and hardly here

Day one day one start over again
Step one step one
with not much making sense just yet
I’m faking it til I’m pseudo making it
From scratch begin again but this time I as i
And not as we

Eyes wet toward
Wide open frayed
If God’s taking bets
I pray He wants to lose

Day one day one start over again
Step one step one
I’m barely making sense just yet
I’m faking it til I’m pseudo making it
From scratch begin again but this time I as I
And not as we


I am adding links to this blog that I think are helpful in this subject. I find that just knowing that other’s have been through what I have, is vindicating since I felt I was so alone. My Narcissist/psychopath boyfriend tried very hard to make me believe I was crazy, and “mental”. though I recognized this as a game of his, of sorts, early on…he still had a negative impact on my thinking, level of paranoia, and view of the world around me. Mostly of myself. In writing this blog, I recognize that I’m placing myself in a very vulnerable position. Ces la vie.

you can find said links at the bottom of this page. As of right now, there are 2 that I believe are bennificial to all of us. I would like to revamp the title of this blog, but can’t figure out how. In my studies, I have learned a lot about Narcissism and Psychopathy. I’m no longer “alone” in this regard. I have to come to grips with the knowing that my acquaintances at work may not every believe me. Just so I can rely on them if I need them in any situation.

Love and peace to all 🙂
We WILL grow, and we WILL heal! Keep your feet moving!!


I’m quite inquisitive when I get bored. I watched the afore-mentioned documentary “I, Psychopath” the other day and today found a great website, which talks about the documentary and delves a little deeper into it and the life of the film creator, Ian Walker, following the making of “I, Psychopath”. The links in this page are quite informative and useful. I encourage you to explore this website for informational resources. Let me know what you think. Me


sometimes youtube can be a great resource…

Hello again. I got off work tonight and for whatever reason decided to look through the documentary videos on youtube, for information on psychopathy/psychopaths. I found one posted by “jesusmalaark11”. In this documentary a psychopath agrees to be the test-subject of the documentary. It’s eye opening and vindicating for myself. For victims of psychopaths, this will be a difficult series of videos to watch. I recommend flooding yourselves with positive affirmations, smiles and laughter for a little while before chosing to watch the entire thing. I assure you, you will be glad for the time you can watch. The last 3 videos in the series were particularly good for me to see. I was able to see/hear confirmation that mine did in fact, calculatedly choose me…among other things. It’s as if someone really understands what we’ve been though. “sam”, for whatever it means for the documentary-maker, was able to get into his head. He’ll be psychologically confused and affected for some time. Good for him that he got out as soon as he recognized what was happening. Mine tried text-book brainwashing tactics, in order to “try” and manipulate me into staying with him. Watch this. you’ll be amazed. Also, you will know more than anything, you really are not alone.

I actually watched all 9 parts of this documentary. there were several times that I almost turned it off but I continued watching. I’m glad I did. I can relate to how the film-maker felt at the end of this endeavour. I still find myself questioning everything I had gone through. I understand the confusion associated with dealing with a person like “Sam”. I had a thought that I was singled out and chosen. This at least partly, confirms my fears. I believe whole-heartedly that I was dealing with a psychopath. I did learn through living with “his” taunts, lies, manipulations, and watching him as I caught his scheming… there was/is absolutely no conscience in him, and absolutely NO Empathy. It was always done with no-one watching. he was very careful about that. Welcome to why he sought to completely control what was said outside our interpersonal encounters. No-one had/has any reason to question HIS version of reality. He made his own for the rest of the world to interpret, without any question