The beginning of my hell…it began with second-guessing

I won’t give dates, days, times or years so as to maintain my anonymity. (side note: anyone who posts to this blog…please don’t use any identifiable information about yourselves when posting here. We are all friends, but the stalkers/psychopaths/psychological abusers we have had, may also be reading this blog. Above all I want EVERYONE to be SAFE!)

I met “him” at work. I remember the first few “red-flags” that made my nervous system scream… He asked about a boyfriend I had before him, who was still trying to win me back. “he” asked me daily if I had heard from my previous bf. I was honest, believing his questioning was out of concern. Then out of no-where, he jumped down my throat saying he didn’t want to hear about my x texting me, stopping by, etc and that I had serious relationship issues. This onslaught came out of no-where, within a couple of weeks of seeing each other. I was shocked. I responded correctly, and ended my response with “I’m busy on [our predetermined date night] Wednesday”. “he” immediately changed his tone and apologized. I decided to give him another chance.

They say hind sight is the greatest teacher. Now, looking back, I can see how he was able to find my biggest weakness and throughout our relationship, exploited that weakness. He discovered that all he had to do is lower his tone, change his approach, and instantly act like he was fine. I would feel guilty about trying to break up with him. He used this particular tactic over and over, for over a year.

That is also how he broke me down, belittled me, and whittled away my confidence and self-esteem. He was trying to mold me to be receptive to another way of thinking. Keeping me off-balance. He later tried to do the finishing steps of brainwashing. If you look back and can relate, please feel free to comment…

I found this radio program about psychopaths, and I think it’s something worth listening to. I apologize ahead of time about the adds, etc.




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