Monkey See, Monkey Do…

Original page: (courtesy of yahoo image search)

A couple of months ago, my company started moving people around. Managers switched stores, employees went to different stores in the area or out-of-town… My store went through some changes too. One of our Assistant managers, traded places with another store’s Assistant Manager. They ‘ store swapped’. This change has had me thinking, ever since. I’ll explain why, and why it’s making me think. Also, WHAT I’m thinking. I realize that things might be coincidental..but there’s so much “coincidence” here, it makes me wonder…and makes me a little uneasy. I’m not sure why. What are your thoughts? I dated my x for a year…but had to endure seeing him, longer.

First, the question: Since Psychopaths mimic emotions as a method of social survival, do they or can they mimic in other areas, too, as a way to appear to be more perfect?

Here’s why I’m posing this question… but first, I need to describe the “monster’s” regular mannerisms as I came to know him: (I have to note: my X is closer to ‘Senior citizen’ status than is the Assistant…who is almost 20 years younger)

  • Appears to be highly intelligent.
  • His gait is swift…was always too quick to keep up with him when walking ANYWHERE.
  • Has a regular ‘slump’ in his posture
  • Speech pattern is quick, direct and processes thought rather quickly.
  • Appeared to be efficient in his routines
  • Hair cut short…almost a military (Marine-type) “high and tight”
  • Wears a particular brand of black tennis shoe as regular work attire

I’ll save the last one until a little later on in this entry…

Now, our new Assistant Manager’s mannerisms:

  • Appears to be highly intelligent.
  • Swift gait
  • Regular ‘slump’ in his posture
  • Speech pattern is quick, direct and processes thought rather quickly
  • Efficient in his routines
  • Hair cut short…almost a “high and tight”
  • Wears the SAME particular brand of black tennis shoe as regular work attire

He is married (This is the difference between them) but doesn’t speak of his wife with others, though I have heard him on the phone with her…he is loving and nurturing with her. He’s caring with customers, though not a person to be manipulated or taken advantage of. He seems to be a ‘real’ person.

I had never worked with this Assistant Manager before, though I did speak to him on occasion when delivering products to his original store. I never witnessed his mannerisms until he came to work at my store. The first day I worked with him, the similarity of their mannerisms made it hard for me to accept him. (similarity? More like EXACT REPLICAS!) It’s still hard for me to work with him, just because of the ‘de ja vue’ I’m getting in seeing the similarities. He reminds me TOO MUCH of my X-monster. I do like him, though, and am impressed by his professionalism. He’s probably one of the best in management I’ve seen in many years…if not ever.

Backing up… (this is one that almost has me convinced) My x, about 5 months before the dramatic end, complained of neck and upper back pain. Part of our job is to continuously answer the phones. In their store, they have to do this, help customers, and work with computers at the same time. A good environment for neck and back ailments…I am aware of this, though it is just unnerving. Last week our new Asst. complained of pain in the exact same area. His complaint wasn’t near as exaggerated, though.

The question again: Since Psychopaths mimic emotions as a method of social survival, do they or can they mimic in other areas, too, as a way to appear to be more perfect?

You can see why I’m posing the question. I have never come across any article that implies daily mannerism mimicry. I can see why he would, though. He (My x) wants to appear to be perfect. My first thought when he (the new Asst) started working for our store was, “who is mimicking whom?” I thought about it…if one is truly mimicking the other, (The asst is younger), it would have to be my X. He’s the one who fits EVERY ONE OF THE CRITERIA of a Psychopath. He’s the one who mimics emotion. He probably views the Asst as someone who appears to be as perfect as anyone there. The monster probably admires him, too.

What are your thoughts? Thanks in advance for your input. This one, for whatever reason, is something important to me, to try to understand the Monster.

Peace 😀


2 thoughts on “Monkey See, Monkey Do…

  1. Interesting observation. I’ve watched the narcissists in my life mimic those they admire, down to their mannerisms, patterns of speech, and problems, in an effort to feel a part of them. At least, I think they are trying to feel a part of them. I’m beginning to think that narcs and the like don’t actually have true personalities of their own, so they have to borrow. I mean, I’ve heard the narcs in my life complain about behaviors in others that they exhibit themselves, so they clearly have a distorted picture of themselves. Being pathological liars, they would have to create something to pattern themselves after, since they are, for all intents and purposes, a lie. Just some rambling thoughts. I don’t know. I’m not even sure how much sense that makes. I have learned that in dealing with people like this you have to throw out the window all expectations of reasonableness.

    1. thanks for your input, Judy. I suspected this, just based on what I witnessed, and heard from him, even in times past. He’s really good at making sure all his ducks are in a row (so to speak). He’ll put the ‘players’ in line…right where they should be…in order to make his story sound and LOOK more credible. He’ll put on the costume, and his best theatrical face. I’ve seen him do this on several occasions. He’s done it to me. If he wanted to make a lie sound believable…first he would go so “someone” who he knew was a trusted individual, and tell his version. He did this anticipating that I could be open about the truth. If he tells the right person, with the “victim” role in place, he’ll be believed. If he wants people to think he’s Mr. wonderful, but it’s not natural for him, then find someone with those characteristics. It’s not to better himself in any way…it’s to succeed better in his con-game. Guess this would be another version of ‘gas-lighting’?? Maybe???

      I’d be interested in hearing other’s input, too. Who else has witnessed this type of thing? I think the only way a person could be caught putting on this facade, is if there is someone around that knows that person better than anyone else…a mother, or child…family member or a significant other who was able to discern things like this in a person. Able to discern the “real” person, over the con-game/actor. I’d seen him play an actor’s roll on MANY occasions..seemingly without reason.. but until now (upon meeting the Assistant) never realized this could include mimicking another person who they see as perfect. (whatever their reasoning is).

      I’m still questioning what I’ve seen and learned about the di…er…monster. With each realization, the more I’m just absolutely astounded at the callousness of each step those monsters take.

      I learned (the hard way…when I tried to put “humanness” in his personality, expecting to be right) that there was nothing you can predict. nothing normal you can assume into reality, and yes throw out everything that is reasonable and recognizable…normal human expectations of another “human” to be just that…human. Sorry for the book! Lord, I’m good at that! lol! I am grateful for your feed back! Amazing you have witnessed this too. I was afraid of how I would sound in putting this “out there”. Thanks again.

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