I, too, was thinking that the only way out was suicide. I went so far as to start planning. I saw no way out at the time…but then something changed. I looked at other options and angles. I didn’t know which direction was the right one, so I just ‘moved’ my feet. The rest is history, as they say.
At the end of my relationship with the monster, I recognized, in his panic, his attempts at quickly trying to get me to accept a new line of thinking. He failed in this. I already recognized the need to run away from him. These attempts only solidified my fear of him, more.
I recognized the final stage of brainwashing, coming out of his mouth. He didn’t count on the fact that I had already taken steps to separate myself from him, emotionally. He didn’t count on me running away from him before he had the chance to finalize my new “brain”. He didn’t count on losing. F*** him.
This perfectly describes this, as well as the tactics that were used against me, and many of YOU who are in this with me. Recognize anything?