Brainwashing and Battering Fatigue: Psychological Abuse in Domestic Violence

.Paula, I cannot express how grateful I am for the whole article, of which I represented the ‘abstract’ version in my previous post.

It’s vindicating to see your life in others’ publications, but hard. Very DIFFICULT. I can’t express this. I’m dumbfounded. This is my ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP with my X monster, all the way down to the descriptions of seeing things through a cloud (the article describes this as seeing things as a blur). It’s amazing that the way I chose to separate myself from him, emotionally is also addressed in this article. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read this!! Click on the link below..

I might print this for my HR manager.


4 thoughts on “Brainwashing and Battering Fatigue: Psychological Abuse in Domestic Violence

    1. I don’t know if this is the problem or not, but I’m copying the link here. If this doesn’t work, go onto the previous post with the same title. Paula posted the original link. I may not have resposted it right.

  1. Oh my goodness. Did you seriously go through this? Did you experience physical abuse too? I am so sorry that you went through any of this. One point I got is that psychological abuse is worse than everything but the most extreme physical abuse. Do you see the “battered woman syndrome” in your own life? I would be interested in reading a reflective post on this paper and how you see yourself in it. I am soo soo sorry you had to go through any of this. I am glad you got out of it when you did and so happy to see you working hard at coming out of the emotions that stayed with you from it. You are strong! (PS: The link worked fine from my home computer)

    1. He wasn’t violently physical, though he was showing signs of becoming more and more aggressive. The police officer I called and talked with, verified that was something that wasn’t far from becoming a reality. I went through most of this type of abuse, without the physical (hitting, slapping, etc) portion, though many others have, who have been targeted by a psychological abuser (including Narcissists, Psychopaths, Sociopaths, and any other Anti Social Personality Disorder-types.). As you read through other’s blogs, you will find SO MANY more who have been through and are dealing with exactly as I have. Our experiences seem so similar with each other targeted woman, one might think we all got together to form our combined “story”. It seems everything we went through, and are still going through as a result, was formed in a mold of sorts. It really is amazing. Though it’s a horrendous type of abuse, and NO HUMAN BEING should EVER have to endure this…the fact that others out “there” have experienced the same things, is vindicating and comforting, too. It’s one of the main things that has helped me get this far in my process.

      His abuse was primarily psychological, though (this one is REALLY hard to talk about) intimately he pretended to listen to my boundaries, but violated them anyway. He violated ME! This is one area I don’t think I will ever recover from. At the same time, he did his best to make sure I had no confidence in this area. He made me feel like such a slut all the time…by his put downs, his incessant comments and attacks. If we were having a seemingly decent day, talking about nice things between us (such as memories about yard work) he would throw out, out of no-where “I don’t want to hear about the house where you lived with 6 different guys!” and shut me down, shut me off, shut me out, immediately. I was left wondering where THAT one came from! This wasn’t even REMOTELY true, but expressed just how he looked at me from the beginning. I was already dead. There I said it. My daily mantra with this monster was, “Where the hell did THAT come from?!”

      I could go on, but I want to crawl into a hole for a while, now. 🙂 I will do my best to write a reflective paper on this. Yes, I definitely see the ‘battered woman syndrome’. The thing to remember, there is no syndrome if there is no abusive relationship. Once finally out of that relationship, one deals (many do) with PTSD. Not battered woman’s syndrome. In order to go through that syndrome, that woman must be actively involved in a relationship with a physical, emotional, or psychological batterer (or all of these). It’s an active syndrome, solely dependent on the womans level of abuse that she is experiencing IN that relationship.

      It could be a couple of days, as I have to work 7 straight, and tomorrow is an early 10 hour day.

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