I cry “Uncle”

I’ve been fighting to keep my second job. There’s no doubt about that. With the Psychopath at my heals and the Narcissist in my face, trying to steal it from me, it’s been quite the ride. Even now, they haven’t won. I lied and asked my second boss to join in that lie, in order to see where THEIR lies would go. It became apparent that the Narc (I fully believe her to be) was playing the “divide and conquer” game, in order to snag my job away from me. The Psychopath still hasn’t hung himself (figuratively) in his attempts yet, but he most definitely WILL! If he is frustrated enough, he will talk, talk, lie, lie, lie, scheme…you get it…until he is confused in his own attempts. He WILL expose himself for what he is. It’ll just take time.

She didn’t speak about needing a second job until I mentioned that I had one, and with whom. I believe it was all in jealousy on her part, that she tried to scheme against me. I’ll never trust or coddle her again. Now that she believes that my second boss decided to let me go because of her lie, she’s been all “nicey nicey” with me…pretending to be my friend. I’m cordial toward her and appreciative when she does something nice for me, but that’s where it ends. I do NOT trust her nice gestures or anything about her. I see her as much as a threat as I do my Psychopathic X. Nothing good in either of them.

With all of their attempts to harm me at work, they still haven’t won. I have :D.

I’ve been getting up 4 days a week, at 4:00 am to work 4 hours with my second job, then going onto my primary job and closing the store…getting home anywhere from 9pm to 9:30 pm. If you do the math, that translates to “not much sleep” after trying to FALL asleep! Down time? Days off?? Pretty much non-existent. I have been absolutely EXHAUSTED!

With that exhaustion, I, unbeknownst to me, was also dehydrated. Judging from the pain I was in yesterday, pretty severely.

I woke up with every joint hurting… hips, back, arms…then it gravitated to my head all at once. I had my first full-blown migraine in 20 years!!

I had to call-in to my primary job. I could barely move. My boss called me back and told me to come in anyway as they were already short 3 people. In my job, that means a severe shortage and I am the only other cashier besides the Narc. My boss was kind enough to allow me the time to try to get the pain under control. I missed half my shift, but was able to continue to work. I was a little weak and dizzy, but I functioned ok.

Now, translation: I CRY UNCLE!!! I can’t place my primary job in jeopardy because I need more money. I will give my 2 weeks notice to boss #2 today. I feel bad for doing that, because I know the struggle they are having in this new contract. Passing security checks for a new employee is grueling and time-consuming. It will probably take more time than 2 weeks to replace me. I have to put myself in a place where I can’t let myself be concerned with it.

This will be a growing process for me.

I have to find the courage to face my boss (#2) to GIVE him my notice. He has a bit of a temper, as does his sister/co-owner. A man’s temper is one of my MAJOR triggers to put myself last, and allow someone else control over me. This is where I am at my weakest. He appreciates someone who can be up-front about issues. I only hope he shows that side, and not the temper.

I held a second job for about 6 months when I got hired for my, now, primary job. I wasn’t so exhausted then. The reasons for this, I believe are: 1) My relationship with my X has taken a toll on me. I don’t have the stamina I did 2 years ago. 2) My job at the gas station was 2 days a week, on my days off from my primary job. I slept, I functioned, and did ok. I went 3 weeks without a day off at one point. It was ok, though I really appreciated it when my day off finally came!

I still need the extra paycheck, but I need my health more. It’s time to face the piper, cry “uncle” and take my losses…and in this case, my GAINS! 😀

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9 thoughts on “I cry “Uncle”

    1. I’m sure it will. Generally, when I do speak my mind, even in the larger issues, my own fears are blown out of proportion and it isn’t nearly as bad as my fears tell me they are. It’s the ‘unknown’ that gets to me. I have to pull myself up by my boot-straps, and do what I know I need to.

  1. Hang in there. We’re with you. And if the second job is one you CHOOSE to let go of, there could be something better just around the corner for you if you’re ready for it. Time IS the key ingredient in the deranged outing themselves. Time vindicates many things. And all that horrifying behavior is about them, not you. Keep your head up, claim what you want and get some rest!!!

  2. Sorry, I read this on my phone when you posted it, and never got a chance to get in here and reply. I’m really glad you are able to quit one of your jobs. I guess just make a tighter budget (??) to get you through. You should consider making blogging one of your jobs. Try to monetize this thing. 🙂

    1. Thanks for your comment :D…3 questions…what exactly is “monetizing”, How to you “monetize” a blog, and … Do you honestly think this is good enough? Doc Bonn commented on an earlier post, sometime ago, and called this my “Journal”. I hadn’t thought about it, but he’s right. This blog is my own personal growing, healing and learning experience. It’s not professionally done, in the least. But In my own personal ‘exposure’, others are being able to find help too. We are all helping one another in our posts. It’s a precious and strengthening thing, that’s for sure!

      1. Monetizing your blog just means you start making money from it. There’s all kinds of ways you can do that, but you can’t use ads in wordpress.com–you have to go self-hosted if you want to do that (I am going self-hosted this coming weekend if everything goes ok). And yes, I think this is “good enough,” but it does take a lot more work because then you need to “market” your blog. But it’s fun work, if you ask me. Your experience here is valuable–like you said, because you expose yourself, you are able to help other people. Just a thought.

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