“Now” vs. “Tomorrow

Watsons Bay

One of the things I am realizing as I continue this blog (journal) is, I am able to learn as I write. I learn as I read (so elementary, dear Watson). The introspection/extrospection process never EVER ends for me. I think more fluently when I write, and write more of what I’m feeling, in the process.

When talking with ‘projectwhitespace’, I realized something (this is becoming almost tiring for me :D)… In battling the anxiety issues I have had throughout my life, part of my decision in dealing with it is deciding in an instant not to deal with it ‘then’. I always said, “I’ll deal with it tomorrow”, “I’ll tackle this later”…and so-on. I realized, that decision was BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID to deal with it. Someone’s anger…so paralyzing for me…how I was treated and spoken to…how I was unable to fight back. paralyzed. I believe this is paramount.

Please keep in mind as I write my blog, most of what you are reading are my thoughts on my own healing. Things I have learned, and in no way am I saying anything I am implementing for myself, is absolutely right for YOU! You heal differently, have different thoughts which are right for your own process, etc. If I happen to hit a chord that brings a step for you, then I say WONDERFUL!

Now… it’s a very brave word. Now, I will talk to someone about a hard topic. Now, I will mend fences. Now, I will stand up for myself or a loved-one. Now, I will face fear, HEAD-ON! Now… sparks fear, in and of itself. The unknown, feeds on “tomorrow”.

Tomorrow…is fear-based, in this instance. Tomorrow…so I don’t have to face what I am afraid to, right now. Tomorrow, keeps us paralyzed in step. Tomorrow, keeps injustice alive and well…right now. Tomorrow, allows for one more day of torture for a victim of Narcissists and Psychopaths. Tomorrow, means we don’t have to deal with the difficult things right away. What is constant, when putting things off till tomorrow? ANXIETY, FEAR, unrealized and unsettled things in our lives. We are frozen in anticipation of the unknown. This probably doesn’t make much sense. It’s still in it’s growing phase, my realizing this. I only hope that someone finds some help and encouragement, here. It’s a hard step to take, dealing with the hard things, today. It begins with a decision to never be paralyzed, again…then a step…a word…an action. Then, in the end.. Peace within ourselves…myself… and STRENGTH!

 

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5 thoughts on ““Now” vs. “Tomorrow

  1. Love this. I think what’s hardest is that every day is “today.” At times, when I’m weary beyond words, I want the easy button, but there isn’t one. So it’s back to taking one more step and one more step, no matter how tired I am.

    1. It’s during those times when we are weary, that taking each step is more difficult. Those are the times that I say, even baby steps are still movement. Baby steps come from exhaustion…mentally, emotionally, and psychologically. Baby steps… God’s gift to tired “feet”! 😀

  2. And the more we practice taking action in the now, the easier it becomes. My son reminds me all the time that oractice makes perfect (or at least moves in the direction of perfection.) And our strength and courage to act now helps others take that first baby step toward their actions in the now. It’s contagious! And so much easier than I ever imagined. 🙂

    1. I have found that a lot of the difficult things are surprisingly easy, once they are started. Practice, practice, practice :)… Can’t I just close my eyes and be an expert, now? Geez~ lol~

      Thanks, Paula

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