If you are a victim of cyber-stalking, cyberpaths, or any other “…paths”, please read:

English: Federated Search Engine Diagram
English: Federated Search Engine Diagram (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was searching the internet this morning, for a way to keep my new address private, when I get it. I found this article on squidoo.com, which is invaluable. As everything always does, it sparked a thought and a memory of my experience…

The first inclination that I had a real problem with my X…though I reasoned it away as “reasonable”. My X, out of the blue, (as he was so skilled at doing) asked me how many times I had been married. I’m ashamed to admit, I have been married 3 times. When he asked, I was already afraid of him. I was not comfortable telling him, as he was very good at pulling out any ammunition against me, from any thought of his, impression or what-have-you. I chose to lie to him. Bad idea! He was now able to present me as a liar to those that trust him and even the courts, though they will never know what really happened, or the reason behind the lie. Somewhere around Christmas time of that year, I knew I wasn’t getting out of the relationship any time soon, and there would be gifts given by him, his family, and I felt guilty. It’s hard for me to lie. It throws my psyche into overload, I become guilt-ridden and I just don’t like feeling that way. I generally don’t lie. The better response to him would have been, “I’d rather you didn’t know” or “it’s none of your business”. When I told him, he said, “I already knew…” and took me over to his computer, pulled up a people search engine (peoplefinder.com), typed in my name and voila! Every bit of information about me. I asked him, “when did you do that?” He said he searched about me, before ever asking me out. Scary, right?? I thought it was understandable. Stupid, STUPID me!

I reasoned the incident away…I shouldn’t have. It would take hours to describe each time, in detail. Lets just say, the stalking never stopped, nor was it confined to just myself. He stalked my friends, ex-husbands, my family (including my Mother). He set up profiles on personal networking sites, just to find if I had one. It never stopped.

When I finally ran from him, I proceeded to attempt to eradicate every bit of my information on the internet. Several search engines followed through with my request in removing information (a couple of such sites, I reported him as a stalker). Others claimed that their hands were tied, and they couldn’t remove any information. Spokeo.com will remove it upon request.

When I contacted mylife.com, I found out that they set up a public profile FOR you, based on internet searches throughout cyber-space. They are also one who will remove the profile they set up for you, with a phone call and an explanation regarding your request. Unfortunately, they don’t have any way of blocking an individual from viewing any information. I no longer have any info about me on mylife. I did, however, report my X to their admins as a stalker so they are aware.

This article is very helpful… How to Remove Your Personal Information from Google and Internet.

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7 thoughts on “If you are a victim of cyber-stalking, cyberpaths, or any other “…paths”, please read:

    1. mylife is just another people search engine, advertised as a good way to “reconnect” people. Naw…it’s a stalker’s paradise. Especially if that person has set up their own account, and pay the fee. They can view anything about anybody. It’s just like Spokeo.com, in that it compiles ALL information from EVERY OTHER search site. Scary when you discover just what is out there about yourself. court docs, etc…

      1. Every time I think maybe I’m on the computer too much or too nosey or some such nonsense, something like this comes along and all I can think is “I am such a rookie, and I’m okay with that.” 🙂

        1. I was that way, too, until my X did his thing, unwaveringly. I thought nothing available (I had the old-school idea that privacy was upheld everywhere) that could ever harm me. I’m such a goody-two-shoes that I didn’t think anything could be used against me. Then, enter the psychopath, everything was potential ammo. I couldn’t get moving on this fast enough. Since then, I have come to realize that he can’t hurt me anymore, outside of any physical attacks. What can he do? Spread rumors, in which the only damage can be done by people that don’t matter, anyway. I don’t like the lies being spread about me, but I know they are lies. People closest to me know they are lies. He also knows I can expose him, and I KNOW he’s afraid of that! Gives me a good feeling, deep down, to know 😀

          1. Whoohoo! I still try to be careful, but I’ve come to the conclusion I can spend my life living in fear, or I can live my life. I try to be smart and careful, but I can’t let it rule my life, anymore than I could let the narcs run my life. Go us!

  1. Thank you for the post. It is very helpful. I am sorry you have had to go through so much with this lunatic. Is he finally leaving you alone? He sounds so awful. Hold your head high. No one has the right to judge you or make you feel bad about anything. Anyone who would try is the one with the problem. Wishing you good and happy experiences.

    1. Except for the underhanded rumors, he’s leaving me alone. It took filing for a restraining order, and calling the police at every attempt he made to contact me, to get him to finally leave me alone. Of course, then I was the bad person for making him “look bad”. Nope, he did that one all by himself. I just refused to allow him to affect me any longer. It took an eye-opening event, and me becoming 10 feet tall, in order to become brave enough to follow through. Once his behavior was made public, he disappeared from my life (though not completely, since I still work for the same company that he does.)

      Without this experience, I wouldn’t be making the changes I am, now. I wouldn’t have the courage to try, in spite of my own fears of failure. It’s becoming good, in the end. 🙂

      Thank you for your comment, Lilly!!

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