My experience with a cyberpath, continued…

This is proving to be a difficult thing to write. Please bear with me.

After talking about my X’s ex-wife and previous girlfriend, I went home feeling a bit uneasy about his response. There’s usually 2 sides that hit your psyche at once, when you hear a statement like “That remains to be seen..”.. You sense a feeling that you will be put on a chopping block, as a subject of a witch hunt. You also feel a little sorry for the creature who has apparently been through so much, that you choose to give him the benefit of the doubt. Stupid, stupid move on my part. I chose to be patient. I should have ended all contact, then. I didn’t.

You can probably guess which direction the situation went… The witch-hunt scenario. Not a fun place, I can assure you…

He began asking pointed questions about me. I thought it was as in a normal new relationship and he was just wanting to get to know me better. Come to find out, he was trying to get more information about me for his witch hunt.

To continue this, I need to try to paint a picture of who this individual is…

He is absolutely precise in everything. He doesn’t say or do anything without thinking it through. He doesn’t make stupid mistakes, like getting a word wrong in a conversation, or getting something mixed up. Every word has a purpose, with him. Keep in mind that it took some time to realize this about him. Instead, I kept giving him a human face… Humans make mistakes in speaking. We mix up words and say things we don’t mean. If we have to make a copy of a house key, we might mix it up with another key and so on. The monster didn’t make such mistakes. He tried to appear to make them, but it was never an “oops”. It was always intentional.

I can’t remember the first time he asked me how many times I’d been married. I chose to lie to him initially because I didn’t want him to think badly of me, before he got to know me. He asked me several times after, which I chose to lie to him because I was beginning to understand just how little he needed for “ammo” to shoot me down with, demean me or keep me silent. I wanted to get away from him, but the holidays were coming up and I felt bad for lying to him and my conscience wouldn’t let me break up with him. It would have been cruel. A couple of weeks before Christmas, I decided to tell him the truth…his response to that one? “I already knew…” I asked him how long he has known and he said, “Before I ever asked you out”. I asked him how he knew, and he took me over to his computer, pulled up a people search engine (Peoplefinders.com) and showed me everything on that page about me. Up came that uneasy feeling again… It wasn’t long before this that I realized he was following me, and doing late-night drive by’s. I caught him.

I reasoned it away… I thought it was a one-time thing, to make sure I wasn’t some ax murderer or something. Wrong again.

Throughout the months prior, he constantly brought up facebook…”Only idiots have a facebook page. Everyone of the people with a facebook page are childish and juvenile..”. I chose to keep my facebook page a secret from him, then. “Juvenile”…hmmm… until he asked me if I had a facebook page. I was honest with him and told him “yes. I have it locked down really tight and only have close friends and family on it”. Time went on, I broke up with him after the holidays and was bludgeoned with all manner of emails, phone calls, etc. Most were cruel taunts and accusations. This was only in a matter of days. He accused me of having “online relationships”, except it was more like he was the judge and jury, and he already had me tried and sentenced.

Before I knew it, one of my friends became a “friend” of his on facebook.. only 2 days after I broke up with him. He was trying to check up on me, watch me, etc. and I called him on the stalking…

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6 thoughts on “My experience with a cyberpath, continued…

    1. Since my X, I find that I have a problem differentiating between those who might want to wish me harm, and those who might do so unknowingly. I protect myself now, whatever the case. So different from the person I was, going into the relationship. i trusted, until that person proved they couldn’t be trusted. I thought that was fair. I had no idea what I would be in for, as a result.

  1. Your experience is eerily similar to mine. (But we already knew that!) And sometimes very hard to read. My sociopathic X found me by creating a fake Classmates.com account and sending me in mail to my account. I had worked with him 5 years prior and it turns out he was stalking me online, reading my blog, and learning about my marriage and the birth of my son. When I was with him, he had a string of women he emailed and gained his narcissistic supply that way. I, too, was pressured into taking down my Facebook account but refused. He took his down after a high school reunion because he claimed he didn’t want “those” people contacting him. I think he was too afraid I would find out he was contacting many of them (the females) privately through email. Total cyberpath! I escaped, too. (But you know that already. Hehe!)

    1. Very similar! I don’t know what all he knew about me before we started seeing eachother. I do know that I never gave him my last name. I asked him about that too, and he said he asked other people that we worked with who told him. He didn’t set up a facebook page til directly after we broke up. I was open with the ones I worked with, who were all too willing to tell him everything about me that they knew…all before he ever approached me. We escaped!! WooHoo!

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