This is proving to be a difficult thing to write. Please bear with me.
After talking about my X’s ex-wife and previous girlfriend, I went home feeling a bit uneasy about his response. There’s usually 2 sides that hit your psyche at once, when you hear a statement like “That remains to be seen..”.. You sense a feeling that you will be put on a chopping block, as a subject of a witch hunt. You also feel a little sorry for the creature who has apparently been through so much, that you choose to give him the benefit of the doubt. Stupid, stupid move on my part. I chose to be patient. I should have ended all contact, then. I didn’t.
You can probably guess which direction the situation went… The witch-hunt scenario. Not a fun place, I can assure you…
He began asking pointed questions about me. I thought it was as in a normal new relationship and he was just wanting to get to know me better. Come to find out, he was trying to get more information about me for his witch hunt.
To continue this, I need to try to paint a picture of who this individual is…
He is absolutely precise in everything. He doesn’t say or do anything without thinking it through. He doesn’t make stupid mistakes, like getting a word wrong in a conversation, or getting something mixed up. Every word has a purpose, with him. Keep in mind that it took some time to realize this about him. Instead, I kept giving him a human face… Humans make mistakes in speaking. We mix up words and say things we don’t mean. If we have to make a copy of a house key, we might mix it up with another key and so on. The monster didn’t make such mistakes. He tried to appear to make them, but it was never an “oops”. It was always intentional.
I can’t remember the first time he asked me how many times I’d been married. I chose to lie to him initially because I didn’t want him to think badly of me, before he got to know me. He asked me several times after, which I chose to lie to him because I was beginning to understand just how little he needed for “ammo” to shoot me down with, demean me or keep me silent. I wanted to get away from him, but the holidays were coming up and I felt bad for lying to him and my conscience wouldn’t let me break up with him. It would have been cruel. A couple of weeks before Christmas, I decided to tell him the truth…his response to that one? “I already knew…” I asked him how long he has known and he said, “Before I ever asked you out”. I asked him how he knew, and he took me over to his computer, pulled up a people search engine (Peoplefinders.com) and showed me everything on that page about me. Up came that uneasy feeling again… It wasn’t long before this that I realized he was following me, and doing late-night drive by’s. I caught him.
I reasoned it away… I thought it was a one-time thing, to make sure I wasn’t some ax murderer or something. Wrong again.
Throughout the months prior, he constantly brought up facebook…”Only idiots have a facebook page. Everyone of the people with a facebook page are childish and juvenile..”. I chose to keep my facebook page a secret from him, then. “Juvenile”…hmmm… until he asked me if I had a facebook page. I was honest with him and told him “yes. I have it locked down really tight and only have close friends and family on it”. Time went on, I broke up with him after the holidays and was bludgeoned with all manner of emails, phone calls, etc. Most were cruel taunts and accusations. This was only in a matter of days. He accused me of having “online relationships”, except it was more like he was the judge and jury, and he already had me tried and sentenced.
Before I knew it, one of my friends became a “friend” of his on facebook.. only 2 days after I broke up with him. He was trying to check up on me, watch me, etc. and I called him on the stalking…