I am taking a break, I swear! However, today I had something happen at work that really floored me. I don’t know whether to call it a response to a PTSD trigger, or if it happened solely because I’m unable to trust men in general. I’m going to run it past you, for your thoughts.
I was waiting my turn at the employee computer to clock in after lunch. The man who has been my friend throughout everything, jokingly said something that normally wouldn’t affect me. “Get the freak out of my way!” Maybe it was his tone. I know he was kidding, yet I poised myself to be ready for a fight in an instant. I’m not a violent person, and would have never reacted that way, normally. I stared him down, and I’m sure I made him uncomfortable. I definitely made myself uncomfortable!
This particular type of scenario never happened during the relationship with my X-monster, so I don’t know what to attribute it to.
This is really nothing. I’m just really curious why I reacted that way to a statement from a friend who was joking with me. I told the girls around me that he was just playing and everything was ok. In my normal way of being, there would have been no other reaction to his playful demands, than a pop on the arm, or a toss of his hat. I would have walked away laughing. Today was, well, nothing short of uncomfortable.
What do you think?