I have come to hate the dreams

Over the past year and a half, my sleep has been interrupted and intruded by dreams about my X monster.

The first one was soon after I ran from him. He came to my bedroom window, which faced the store he worked at. He accused me of taking something from him and wanted it back. The feel of the dream was that he lost some drugs (to my knowledge, he didn’t do drugs) and thought I turned him in. I told him to leave and called the police.

There were a couple more later on, that I don’t remember now. Last night I dreamed I talked to him (my x) on the phone. He apologized for what he did to me, and tried to sound like he’d changed. “I know you don’t trust me, but if you ever need anything I hope you will call me.” The funny thing about that is it was the exact words of a co-worker who is interested in me, last night. About the dream? I wasn’t phased by it, and woke up thinking “Utter bullshit!”

I don’t trust this co-worker. He’s after what he wants, without regard to my boundaries. Of course I don’t trust him. He is very nice but I’m really guarded. The red-flags are screaming and very very bright. More so, in the state I’m in, still. Guarded. My emotions and concerns are fine tuned to any and all red flags. I’m grateful for that.

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