Acceptance and Rejection… more thoughts

I really would like to pick the brains of psychological professionals, regarding this topic. It’s such a huge problem which affects so many aspects of our lives, including our past, present and any future we might have. It’s a huge factor in whether we have self-confidence, or not. Whether we do well with a challenge, or not. I’m really struggling with how to write about this, so maybe I’ll just wing it. Maybe it’ll form some sort of intelligent banter along the way.

Rejection. Can you remember when you were first hit with that overwhelming anxiety, associated with the fear? When you met someone new, for instance, and wanted to hide in a hole, instead of confidently extending your hand and introducing yourself? It’s difficult for me to pin point the first time. I know I was a little girl, but I don’t know when or why I became unsure and scared of rejection. I honestly believe it began prior to school years, as a little child or even a toddler. All I remember throughout school, is being afraid. I wonder if it starts from our parents or siblings treatment of us? Oh lord, THIS could definitely buy some psychologist that new yacht he’s been dreaming of!

We can fake confidence…sort of. We can fake a smile. We can fake anything we need to, generally. But, what we can’t fake our way out of, is our – very present – poor self-esteem. We can’t fake looking like we are confident, when we are laden with a lack of confidence. It shows in our body language, our stance, posture and even in the way we walk. It shows in how quickly we look away, when someone looks into our eyes…even for a second. I can fake being “ok” when I look someone in the eye, especially when I am first meeting someone. I know how to act, but I quickly feel examined and “unworthy”. I feel threatened, quickly looking away, and have a difficult time maintaining that eye-contact, naturally. Why is it so hard to trust that we are likable? Why is it so hard to understand that it’s ok if someone doesn’t like us? A fear of rejection stemming from our early years, translated to a type of self-loathing, later on. Somewhere, somehow, it changed.

This is exactly, and I mean EXACTLY what so many Narcissists and Sociopaths zero in on, when choosing their subject. It’s not just our lack of self-confidence that shows…it’s our innate fear of rejection that they see. When they see that part of so many of us, they know we will do ANYTHING and ENDURE ANYTHING to keep from feeling or being rejected. What we think of as “love”, is actually our OWN FEAR OF REJECTION! When we met the Narcissist/Psychopath, who was right there with everything we needed… Love, Affection, Attention, hugs, kisses, presents and so-forth, that translated to us as ACCEPTANCE (Aka: love). He/she gave us everything we’ve ever wanted, going way back to when we were children.

I’m taking breaks in between these posts, as it’s very emotional for me to think about. I have to examine myself while writing these, which is not an easy undertaking.

I would love to hear your ideas. I do realize that in adding your thoughts, you will also be delving into the painful task of self-analysis. You’ll have to remember difficult times in your lives, too. Remember, you aren’t on the chopping block, here. You’re already accepted. Don’t worry 🙂

A little off topic

Recently I’ve been dumped into a challenge at work. Apparently I’m being seen as a “hero” by some, but all I really did was go to upper management to ask a “question”. His reaction prompted me to ask the corporate guru’s. The rest will play out over the next upcoming weeks. I’m in the lead here, with others looking toward me for direction. I truly cannot explain any further about the ins and outs of everything. I will say, however, I predict a big change in management-whether getting new management or that they will have a change of heart (legally) as pertains to the treatment of employees. (This particular scenario has gone on, unquestioned, for years!) Either way, “legally” they will have to dip into their enlightened pocket-books, as a result.

This particular situation, is a direct test of everything I have learned over the past number of years. Standing against injustice, whether toward me or others, against the perpetrators. Speaking out against manipulation and lies, etc. We all have federal law on our side, here. Not to mention State law. Regardless what happens to me as a result, this is the beginning of the end for this type of thing in this company. It’s not as bad as it sounds. No deaths or anything have occurred at work. They are just dipping into our entitled earnings, while pulling their “management” strings. They trust that they have our fear working in their benefit. Not any more…

Please pray for direction, for everyone involved.
Thank you 🙂