I laugh every time I think of this…
I was at work one day, when a girl I worked with and I were talking. I don’t remember the conversation at all. I do remember, however, that I was a little worked up about something. She has a very dry personality, with an equally dry sense of humor, yet she is very funny! All at once, she motioned with both arms and hands, as if to suggest the motion of breathing, while uttering the magical mantra, “Goozz-frabba…”. My attention was instantly drawn away from whatever I was frantic about, to this girl. Straight faced, uttering “Goozz-Frabba”, I forgot whatever it was that was bothering me and instantly giggled.
You know, everything we see and hear has meaning. Everything has a definition or distinct purpose, even those things that seem to be utter nonsense. Everything, including that silly phrase, has meaning. That. Silly. Phrase… What happened when she said that to me, complete with the hand/arm motions, is that I instantly calmed down and found a giggle coming out.
Looking back, I am grateful for that girl and that small moment in time. What it meant to me was a silly way to break a spiral-out-of-control (ish) thought pattern, and put things back into perspective. After-all, what I was worked up about didn’t really matter that much. Perspective. It’s what causes a lot of unnecessary negativity, sometimes. Perspective is quite simply, how YOU see something. It’s your point-of-view. 2 people can be on opposite sides of the same lake. One can see beach, the other nothing but rocks, sea-weed, and trees. If neither one knows the other is there, viewing things quite differently, of course the only view that they believe exists, is the one they are seeing personally. If you get those same two people together to talk about that same lake, they might argue about who’s view was accurate. The reality, though, is that both are right. They just witnessed the proverbial lake in different ways.
You and I have been abused by someone. Why else would you be reading my blog, and why would I be writing it? You have your accurate view of the abuser in your past, where his/her family and friends have never seen that side of him. Their view is the nice guy. The selfless one, who they believe wouldn’t hurt anyone. Both views are accurate, depending on personal perception. Neither one is wrong.
I have found myself in a bit of a whirlwind regarding the death of an abuser. Part of what has bothered me, is that he died without the truth ever being known. There is no vindication for me. No epiphanies would come out into public knowledge. My view of the man is based on my own perspective. The same man is viewed very differently by his friends and family. The pain is a very real thing for them, regardless of my own selfish desire to have those painful truths realized by those who idolize him. The fact is, it will probably never happen. The fact is, it really doesn’t matter.
Two sets of perspectives. One is no more right than the other, based on personal experiences. Both are truth.
Goozz-Frabba…. Breathe, relax, let it be.